I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
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