The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
