I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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