so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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