Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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