I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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