I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
