Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
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