If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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