Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize