i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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