Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
