If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
