And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize