So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
