Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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