Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I have post one night stand depression
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
