How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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