Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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