the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
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