You work out of a Hotel?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
