Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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