Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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