Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize