You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
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