I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize