At least make sure they are 18
Why
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
