I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
