I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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