I want to have your abortion
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
