if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
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My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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