so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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