All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
