you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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