if only i could text you this smell
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
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