my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
