just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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