Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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