hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
