She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
