His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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