is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
