apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize