i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
