You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
