my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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