i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
