also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
