i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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