Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize