Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
