How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
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