god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
