is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
