dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
