2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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