There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
