My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
