we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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