Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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